Changing the Knower of the Past

A song can open a door faster than memory can explain it. Sounds are pressure waves that move through the air, and our nervous system can create vibrations that we can feel in our bodies.

This weekend, I played music from my wild college days and experienced a literal physical feeling in my body that I couldn't create on my own. I was suddenly transported back to the 1990s, in another body, another mood, another season of life. I felt completely alive and in flow. Albums I hadn't thought about in years began to surface as I scrolled through Spotify. Songs I used to play on repeat returned with their old electricity. I was inside the past—it was so wild! It felt as if I energetically reached into another timeline and rode that wave for about an hour. My present-day self and younger self occupied the same inner space. The past was not just a distant memory; it was right now! I didn’t feel like I was in ordinary time, it felt nonlinear.

I started sharing songs with friends who shared those times with me. One of them wrote back:

"Are you a little drinky?", I was not.

He began sending me pictures from that time; it was hilarious. I approached Matt and told him about the vibration I was feeling, and he asked if I was high. Again, I was not! He just stared at me, as the free spirit that I am, and continued to brush his teeth.

I reflected on the strange choices, the risks, and the things I tried because some part of me needed to know what would happen. I thought about the leaps of faith that may not have looked very spiritual from the outside but still belonged to my spiritual infancy.

When I remember who I was in my twenties, I no longer see just the wildness. I see innocence. I see hunger. I see a person testing the edges because the center had not yet been found. I see someone spiritually young but not spiritually empty. I've changed the knower of the past.

The person looking back today, in many beautiful ways, is the same person who stared back at me then. Today’s self simply has more context, as I've been gifted with so many more perspectives: more compassion, more awareness, and more ability to hold contradiction.

This is very much in the spirit of yoga; the non-linear aspect of time is quite shamanic. Neuroscience may explain it as the prefrontal cortex unlocking a whole network at once—the people, places, emotions, body sensations, and identities associated with that period. While science can describe much of the mechanism, the experience still holds mystery. It can be a song, a vibration, a prayer, or breath. Perhaps this is another gift that yoga has given me: the clarity that allows my body and spirit to easily feel these shifts and completely trust the process of being alive.

So throw on your favorite songs and ride the wave, be alive! Enjoy the trip!

Yoga on the Beach:

• Monday: Vinyasa Flow with Alex (subbing for Sheila). Please continue our prayers for Sheila and her family.

• Wednesday: Hatha Flow with Lo

• Friday: Hatha Flow with Lo

• Sunday: Reset and Restore Yoga with Alex

  https://video.wixstatic.com/video/eec105_75418061d3674201a273679e7bba3658/1080p/mp4/file.mp4

  Step into the triangle.